muslim corruption- saudi arabia

I recently read about saudi arabias luxery haji train that is only for arabs- I have long been aware of how saudi was viewed as the prime 'example' of muslim leadership and how corrupt it is (extreme interpretations of the quran and so forth) and this report about the train and also the ultra expensive clock in mecca takes it to another level. Many anti islam articles list the injustices of saudi policies and laws and equate it with all muslims. I pray non muslims will know that not all muslims support saudi and they're practices. I haven't made haji yet and feel sad it is so profit based with the expensive packages- what happened to charity, particularly in association with such a beautiful and noble occasion. So many times non muslims feel muslims are not 'outraged' by particular events and that our 'voice' isn't heard but western media picks and chooses how they want to portray muslims and the 'evil muslim' imagery sells, despite many who do protest. Its hard to hear the cries of protest when its not present or allowed to be heard. Inshallah things will one day change

hijab and the law- boulder

The news story about the boulder hijabi convert has me wondering about freedom of religion- her stance is that she should be allowed to observe hijab in a police photo while boulder police feel this is too concealing. I believe that if the federal government allows hijab in passport photos then states should follow. There shouldn't be a debate over the allowance of a headcovering or attacks of the boulder hijabi because she is speaking out about it- I question why security issues center on not showing ears and neck when the face is revealed. So maybe from this story more hijabis will speak out. Of course hijabis shouldn't be in positions where they'll need police photos so there's that

New thoughts and goals

Life cutting back and no internet is trying : O  I have been finally getting around to spending my free time working on meaningful things that dont involve the TV. One is improving my deen through my many Muslim books I never had time for- I am relearning so much and have become more diligent about during wudu and my prayers more properly alhamduliliah. So inshallah I can be a good example for my son and for my own well being. I pray for God's guidance and mercy

New Phase in Life- Baby Boy

After a hectic time the day prior, I went into labor and had a blur of a delivery (I really don't remember much- except seeing him come out via mirror) that was not at all according to plan. That being said, it was a good application of the lesson 'man plans, God laughs' and it doesn't matter as much as this- I now have a son. My Ramadan baby was born at 6 pounds 7 ounces, born just before the 4th (just for me since my favorite number is 3) I avoided any tears and, despite jaundice and its annoying photo therapy and finding a decent pediatrician on Medicaid, things are going great. I am fascinated by my little boy and enjoying the ups and downs of new motherhood (hello new parent unwanted advice and bickering with my husband). I am so grateful to God for this whole experience so far and just want to do the best I can and take things easy and let go of my anal ways (though its hard to ignore spit up when it happens) So I will try to get some sleep and learn all I can about my new family member. Alhamduliliah!

NY Mosque Debate

Since its been everywhere on the news, I've had my own feelings regarding the proposed Islamic center to be built somewhat near ground zero. On one side, it is ignorant to protest a mosque just because the terrorists had proclaimed to be Muslims- therefore making the correlation that all Muslims are terrorists and every mosque will spout evil rhetoric. Especially when there is a Catholic church, strip club, and liquor store in the same area [evidence of religious discrimination and proof that the area is not that sacred]  Especially when this is America, where there is freedom of religion. Those protesting seem to want to erase that basic right and make this a religious i.e Christian nation.

I do understand that some who can't separate all of Islam from the 9/11 terrorists. However hurt feelings and ignorance doesn't stand as valid reasons to deny a person or group their right to practice their religion or a company its right to practice basic capitalism and sell land to any paying customer [as some politicians want the center moved to another place]  The ground zero site is and should be a memorial to the poor Americans who died. But how much of the surrounding area should be apart of the memorial? The entire city of New York? Or rather, is it only expanded for anything Muslim-related?

On the other side, I can understand how some American Muslims don't want this controversy to invite more harassment toward Muslims- there are already other protests of mosques in other cities- the only mosque in my town is nondescript and hidden from any Islamic-identification. I don't want my son to grow up hiding his Muslim identity out of fear of being targeted. I often wonder if my hijab makes me a target, particularly when job-searching.

But the fact remains that Islam has a place in America as do all faiths. This shouldn't be downgraded or hidden away to appease others- shying away from what is legally right is a behavior that is unAmerican.

Blessed Ramadan-modified

So I am observing wonderful Ramadan while pregnant- which honestly is a disappointment because in the nearly two years since converting, I haven't successfully completed a Ramadan yet [completely fasting consistently] and now I won't be able to for a couple years possibly. But I do have an important job to do which is nourishing my little one- my doc advised against fasting while expecting and I honestly am concerned because I have a hard time eating properly and most likely do not get enough calories.

So I am celebrating in a modified way
1- I have made character goals which include not cursing and losing my patience [which go hand in hand when I deal with my pets]
2- I will do extended reflection and research on various topics which will include the seven levels of heaven, the prophets, and other items I have been questioning but don't reserve time to look into
3- I will abstain from what I can, which will include intimacy and bad behavior [like gossipy comments]

*I have also made some Ramadan construction paper connected rings with one of God's names on each of the 30 rings- each night I have cut one off and reflected on the name. I want to get into the habit of making decorations for Ramadan for my son when he is older and I really enjoy this visual reminder of the sacred holiday.

-side note: very funny Ramadan greeting from the Colbert report
http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/343734/august-12-2010/happy-ramadan

So I pray for the continued good health of my son and success during this Ramadan- inshallah

great article on fasing/pregnancy http://www.jannah.org/ramadan/ramadanpregnancy.pdf

Week 34- Pregnancy

Our blessing from Allah is now 34 weeks old and this pic is from week 33 day 6. He appears to be healthy. I love this pic because I can actually see his cute face, mashallah!  I felt less connected when seeing it, though because it replaced the 'working' image I had of him in my mind- now he was a much more realistic human being. My husband keeps asking me if I am thinking about the labor and honestly I have done the research and seen the videos but I haven't really processed it yet- its hard to fully prepare for the unknown.

The pregnancy is going well- I am no longer losing weight and not gaining quickly either, which is good. I am getting headaches and am so sore when walking. I want to be more active, like walking more, but its so hot and I fear getting stuck and frustrated far from home. I had a dentist appt and it was so uncomfortable being on my back and had to take numerous breaks.

I am improving greatly emotionally, mashallah. I am coming 'out of my fog' and feeling more connected and positive- I still feel sad about this month, knowing school is starting up and I won't be preparing my lessons and classroom. But I will soon be starting my new job of mom. I have to continue to trust that Allah's plan for me will be more beneficial than I can imagine and I have to be patient.

So for now I will prepare for Suvad, get my medical and unemployment in order, and work on centering my emotions and growing closer to Allah.

My son- Month 8/ 32 weeks [pic from 28 weeks]

So my baby is growing and kicking his way along- I love the little movements and kicks but could do without the heartburn, funky carpal tunnel, sore back, breathlessness, stretch marks that grow with every month, infamous pregnancy waddle, and fatigue. But its all for a great cause.
I am struggling with the blues and crazy emotions- I have finally realized that I've been taking it out on my husband so now I need to examine my feelings and not direct it at him- the joy of maturity and living the life. I pray for God's guidance.
I am also working on being more positive and not worry about doctor choices, hospitals, labor decisions, etc. I have to trust that God will take care of everything.

So- my baby is around 4 pounds and all seems to be well with every visit- I think he has his daddy's big nose from the ultrasound. I look forward to the next one next week that my husband can attend. I am realizing the reality of my new role of mother to my son more and more- how will I raise him to be a good Muslim man in this world? what will I do when I mess up or don't set the right example? So many things to think of but I will just have to do my best, inshallah

Re-Realizing the Purpose- Quran Reading

With my 'vacation' this summer, I've been striving to make it my goal to read all the books I never had time for and to most importantly study the Quran and read a larger portion than I normally read daily- I have been slacking.
I came across an article from http://www.quranicpath.com/quranicpath/reading_quran.html that noted the importance of relying on what the Quran states about life matters and not on what other people say. My husband and his family are of the practice that you revere the Quran and not touch it with dirty hands or keep it in a 'low' place- many Muslims have this level of respect, but how many are reading the Quran and learning it's message?  I  know some Christians will have copies of the Bible here, there, and anywhere seemingly without respect for cleanliness but I think its more important that you read the words than keep the outside clean.
I take pride and joy in being disciplined enough to read some portion of the Quran everyday but am I truly benefiting or just 'putting in my time'- much like rushing through a prayer to get it done. How much attention am I paying to the words God provided for us?

So, as I struggle with crazy emotions and an impending life change, I pray for the strength to focus and truly soak in the message God has enclosed in the Quran and not take it for granted, to do more than the 'bare minmum' I pray the same for all others as well

6 month mark

one great thing has happened-
*my hubby has finally felt the baby- he gets impatient holding his hand on my tummy and I suggested that he put his ear on it and he finally felt our son's kicks! the baby responded to his voice. he kicks harder now!

*I got the flu but my carpal tunnel decreased- though now its coming back

So far I'm coping with my job loss, I was close to being chosen for a position but was denied- I became upset because my parents pointed out that it was probably because of my hijab [which I disagree because I got a second interview] and things seem hopeless

But I know I have to have faith and stay positive- at least when I stop working, I'll have the summer to rest and rejuvenate my self and soul before my new job of motherhood begins   : )

week 20 ultrasound- our son!

So we now know- God has blessed us with a boy! and more importantly, he looks healthy. I've gained 9 pounds to date and he is 13 ounces and I am actually 20 weeks and 5 days along- which is further than I thought I was so I'm due around September 9th though the doc won't offically change the due date because of a few days' difference. No matter, due dates aren't concrete anyway, its all God's timing, alhamdulilah. Now we find a name for the little one. I also got some questions answered about delivery and theres a small chance it may be a male doctor which would be weird. I can have a natural birth with some monitoring every 30 minutes so I feel pretty confident. So now I just need to be healthy and not stress, inshallah. Also, our moms were at the ultrasound and that was very nice.

Pregnancy in the Quran- related surahs

I found some great info from Belief.net and wanted to include it as a good reminder to myself
*One recommendation was to read the entire Quran during pregnancy and I realized that I had started my second complete reading during the time I concieved- so I have been reading the Quran in its entirity my whole pregnancy and didn't even know it! Mashallah!

Verses from the Qur’an to Have a Pious Child

Most Muslim women at some time during their pregnancy will be told to recite Surah Maryam from the Qur’an to help them have a safe, easy pregnancy and to help the child be pious and God-fearing. Surah Maryam (or Mary), refers to the birth of Jesus to the virgin Mary, and also tells the story of the Prophet Zakariah, who prayed for his barren wife to have a child. His prayer was answered, and his wife gave birth to John the Baptist, whom Muslims call Yahyah. Women are advised to recite this surah at least once a day during their pregnancy.


Recommended Qur’an Verses for a Happy Pregnancy

The Qur’an is filled with pages upon pages of verses whose virtues are so powerful that reading them is recommended for a variety of situations, including pregnancy. From the time we learn to read the Qur’an, Muslims are taught that reading these verses on a regular basis will ensure them a good life in the present and in the hereafter. Read the following passages for a worry-free pregnancy:

Recite the Surah Ya-Sin for an easy pregnancy and for the spiritual benefit of the unborn child.
Recite Surah e-Qadr seven times daily for an easy delivery.
And try to read the Qur’an in its entirety once during the pregnancy.

From
www.dua.org

Week 19 bump pic

I had realized that I had not been taking pics of my growing baby bump so I figured I should start- its really starting to be noticable and I feel a little weird about it poking out so much. I worry how it'll look in month 8! Aside from heartburn, I feel well though I still stress too much and have been feeling down. Then I feel guilty about feeling down because I'm not trusting in God as I should so I just need to chill out. I look foward to my ultrasound next week and pray we'll find out the gender. Inshallah!

Trying and happy times

I have been turning to God so much lately- I came back to work from spring break to find out I was being let go. It was upsetting in so many ways and its been hard lately to come to work and not wanting to just leave. Its definately trying as I am pregnant and am worried about the future. But I know that I have to trust God that there is a plan and by worrying, I'm only stressing myself out and wasting energy.

As far as my baby, I can feel him/her move which is great- its hard to distinguish between baby movements and regular tummy rumblings. Sometimes its a small thump and other times its a wave of motion. I am showing more and am taking advantage by wearing some of the clothes I had put away as they would show my chubby belly- now its ok. Of course all clothing is still modest.
I have been incredibly hungry lately and at times my heart races but things have been pretty good.

I pray for those in stressful situations that they turn to God and leave it to Him

Second Trimester

I've finally passed the miscarriage stage and am now 13 weeks preganant- thank God!  I still kinda worry and don't 'feel pregnant' but now I have resolved myself to accepting that it will be a while before I see the baby and to just be patient and pray for good health- my biggest issue to eating properly, always hard for me : (   My nauseua is gone and soreness has decreased, even my fatigue is mostly gone- I've read the 2nd trimester is the easiest. At my 11 week appointment, I heard the heartbeat and it was very surreal- it made me happy and more connected to the baby- can't wait to find out the gender

I have moved into my first house and although my pregnancy emotions have led to a lot of fights with my husbend and me being needy, I am content. I have become stronger in my faith following a party my hubend threw for his friend during which a lot of people come into my home and were drinking [the reality of marrying a person on a different phase of faith than you] and I was very uncomfortable even away from the scene and finally snapped at him to kick them out after 5 hours. Although I was angry, I also felt very odd because I have never been to parties and a loss of control and odd about this happening around me- it made me feel more determined to live modestly and appropiately so I am working on cleaning up even more [like not passively listening to inappropiate music and watching my own potty mouth, and not isolating myself so much to the point of unkindness, as a lifelong loner and from my husbend's concern] That experience showed me that the drinking culture I often wondered about in the past was definately not for me and my life as a Muslim was precious.

So, with better communication with my husbend, a new puppy [3 months old], and prayfully still keeping my job [budget cuts : (  ]  I am hopeful for the future with my growing baby.

My blessing's first pic

pregnancy is definately a physcial experience! I am tired, hungrey but not hungry, kinda nausous but not vomiting [thank God!] and very tender areas
 I pray for the strength to still go about my daily tasks and be responsible

I had my first prenatal appointment and the confirmation of blessing inside- I'm offically now 6 weeks so its great to know all looks good- we could see the heartbeat. now its about eating healthy, which is so hard for me to get all the needed vitamins daily. Right now hubby is cooking some protein for me- I just need discipline.

so I'll be sleeping soon and I need to remember to be strong, mature, and thinking of the choices needed to be made for baby

all praises be to God

Allah's Blessing: Pregnancy

Well I guess this blog will turn into a journal for a little bit- I am going to have a baby! I took two pregnancy tests before going to a clinic. I can't remember what made me take them except my period was only red spotting and very short. I guess God guided me to discover the great news.

Offiically [through a great free pregnancy clinic, thank God] I found out that I was pregnant on 1/11 Tuesday and am so happy- we have been trying for a few months and just accepting that it was Gods will that I wasn't pregnant yet. *funny note- the clinic was a Christian non-profit and when I filled out the form with 'Muslim' as my religion, they included a pamphlet titled 'to my muslim friend' in my folder.
What is annoying me is that I didn't keep track of the date of my last period in December so that I can know the due date- I'm guessing it was around 12/3 with due date of 9/9.

Your Conception Date is:
(Approximately 2 weeks before your next menstrual period)
You're in your First Trimester (week 1-12)

12/17/2009

Your period of greatest risk for birth defects is:
(5 to 10 weeks of gestational stage)

1/7/2010


to2/11/2010

Your baby's fetal organ formation begins:

1/7/2010

Your baby's major organs have formed:

2/11/2010

Second Trimester (weeks 12-27)
Your risk of miscarriage decreases:

2/25/2010

If your baby is premature, but born after this date,
s/he has a chance to survive:

5/13/2010

Your Third Trimester begins on:
(Weeks 27 - 40)

6/10/2010

Your Pregnancy Due Date is:
(Weeks 40 - Full Term)

9/9/2010

I feel so blessed and happy- also very worried and shocked. I worry about miscarriage and the dozens of complications that can arise. I am working on just trusting God and accepting God's will, come what may.

So I am 6 weeks along and my baby is the size of a sprinkle- crazy! I decided on a names: a boy will be Suvad and a girl will be Amalie (I'm still deciding on the spelling as it could be Amelie or Amelee) this name reflects my french creole heritage. I haven't revealed it to hubby yet, and I'll have to fight with him on my family's tradition on first born boys' middle names but that can wait. : )




Symptoms: I've started really feeling the fatigue today and had small cramps the other day. No vomiting, thank God.
Also I feel so lifted, mood-wise- which is really great because there were several things this week that would have stressed me out at work; but now I take it in stride. Praises be to Allah and I pray for all to have successful pregnancies and also to those suffering in the world

http://www.babyzone.com/pregnancy/pregnancycalculator.asp?lmpdate=12/3/2009&cyclelength=28&updateprofile=&pg=3&RegTypeID=25&LoginFrom=6&ReturnURL=