Blessed Ramadan-modified

So I am observing wonderful Ramadan while pregnant- which honestly is a disappointment because in the nearly two years since converting, I haven't successfully completed a Ramadan yet [completely fasting consistently] and now I won't be able to for a couple years possibly. But I do have an important job to do which is nourishing my little one- my doc advised against fasting while expecting and I honestly am concerned because I have a hard time eating properly and most likely do not get enough calories.

So I am celebrating in a modified way
1- I have made character goals which include not cursing and losing my patience [which go hand in hand when I deal with my pets]
2- I will do extended reflection and research on various topics which will include the seven levels of heaven, the prophets, and other items I have been questioning but don't reserve time to look into
3- I will abstain from what I can, which will include intimacy and bad behavior [like gossipy comments]

*I have also made some Ramadan construction paper connected rings with one of God's names on each of the 30 rings- each night I have cut one off and reflected on the name. I want to get into the habit of making decorations for Ramadan for my son when he is older and I really enjoy this visual reminder of the sacred holiday.

-side note: very funny Ramadan greeting from the Colbert report
http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/343734/august-12-2010/happy-ramadan

So I pray for the continued good health of my son and success during this Ramadan- inshallah

great article on fasing/pregnancy http://www.jannah.org/ramadan/ramadanpregnancy.pdf

Week 34- Pregnancy

Our blessing from Allah is now 34 weeks old and this pic is from week 33 day 6. He appears to be healthy. I love this pic because I can actually see his cute face, mashallah!  I felt less connected when seeing it, though because it replaced the 'working' image I had of him in my mind- now he was a much more realistic human being. My husband keeps asking me if I am thinking about the labor and honestly I have done the research and seen the videos but I haven't really processed it yet- its hard to fully prepare for the unknown.

The pregnancy is going well- I am no longer losing weight and not gaining quickly either, which is good. I am getting headaches and am so sore when walking. I want to be more active, like walking more, but its so hot and I fear getting stuck and frustrated far from home. I had a dentist appt and it was so uncomfortable being on my back and had to take numerous breaks.

I am improving greatly emotionally, mashallah. I am coming 'out of my fog' and feeling more connected and positive- I still feel sad about this month, knowing school is starting up and I won't be preparing my lessons and classroom. But I will soon be starting my new job of mom. I have to continue to trust that Allah's plan for me will be more beneficial than I can imagine and I have to be patient.

So for now I will prepare for Suvad, get my medical and unemployment in order, and work on centering my emotions and growing closer to Allah.