Reflections on being muslim- 10 months

As I have been having some tough times emtionally lately, I have been reflecting on my life as a muslim of 10 months. Specifically, when I compare how my illness affected my life last year versus this year as a muslim, I do see great differences.

• -Its unfortunate I still have my illness [though I must remember that being a muslim doesn't excuse me from illness and life's stresses] I see that I am able to work through it and lean on Allah for strength compared to last year when I feel utterly alone and hopeless.
• -I am definately not perfect and have stumbled with the same main issue I've been dealing with for a year- and although I have tremendous guilt, I also feel some sernenity in knowing that Allah loves me and is there for me as I work on getting back to the straight path- that its not 'sin once and you're out of here' kind of feeling. I am a muslim no matter what and I can always improve.
• -When I feel lost and ponder the point of life, my attitude is not so destructive but resigning- I may not know the answers to why I'm here on this earth but I do know Allah has a plan for me and I have to be patient and take one day at a time.

So although my illness hasn't been completely healed, I know that as a muslim, I am not alone and that Allah will always be my support and strength. Thank you so much God for loving me despite myself

Hijab judgement

I've been seeing alot of different information about hijab styles and have been seeing alot of judgemental comments about not wearing the 'right' hijab. Of course, some follow hadiths and sunnah but for me, there are two main points. One, the Quran doesn't state exact specifications of how to wear hijab- only to be modest and cover the bosom. I believe this is meant to provide muslimahs with the free will to determine how they want to honor Allah- whether its with no head covering or a hijab that covers only hair or covers the neck and hair. Two, I know some follow the Sunni/Shitte ways of Islam, but no person has the right to judge- they may feel hijab should be worn a certain way but that is their view of Islam and not universal: we all have our own path to Allah. Bottom line- we shouldn't be talking about others.

[these are similar styles to how I've worn hijab lately]

-My own take is that as long as I feel I am wearing hijab in a manner that is honoring Allah [modest] and do not feel uncomfortable with how I'm wearing it [as in is it too exposing] then I will wear it in a different style. Lately, I have worn it spanish wrap style with some neck exposed and immediatley my husband says 'you're showing too much this and that"- despite the fact that he freaked out about me wearing hijab in the first place. If I feel I am obeying Allah, I can't allow other's judgements to sway me. I like the variety and will still be cognizant of being modest and wearing hijab to submit and honor Allah.

[pics used from http://hegab-rehab.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2009-07-18T12:24:00%2B08:00&max-results=20 ]