YouTube Video Response: Marriage to Non Muslim - Contemporary Issues - Bilal Philips

I am so blessed to have learned some important information concerning marriage and non-muslims: a femenist issue I was troubled by.

Philips notes that "woman's nature is to compromise and avoid conflict" This may be sexist- not all women are the same, but the fact remains that many are the product of their society and most soceities nuture the view that women are gentle, compromising, and nurturers. It is a resonable view that if a Muslimah marries a non-muslim man, there can be conflicts of him wanting her to do things that go against Islam. Philips lists as examples "making pork meals and buying alchohl, dressing sexy to make him proud, raising the children muslim" A man in most soceities may be very demanding and pressure her- in most socieities, women are pressured to be married, not tempt the man to stray so they will be conflicted, as "her religion is threatened"
A side note is that there are men and women who may be able to make this situation work as not all people ascribe to gener- sterotypes.

As for my issue about Men marrying non-muslims:
Philips makes a great point that men can marry Christian/Jewish women but they should be pious and a virgin [unless divorced/widowed]- this may be hard to do in modern society. Christian/Jewish women can follow Muslim prinicipals in terms of dress and diet because it does not go against their religion/ so if the husband asks her to stop drinking, technically she can't have a religous reason to continue as her religion does not require her to drink.

Philips adds that marriage to non-muslims can be difficult for men as divorce can lead to child custody issues and this can be the reason why Muslim ex-husbands kidnap the children. [courts mostly give kids to mom in divorce and may raise them non-muslim]

Alhamdulillah I found an answer to this question!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7boA3baF2dg&NR=1

Article Response- U.S. Muslim women explore [article from Colo Springs Gazette]

Gazette - Both Saba Nizamuddin, right, and Holly Gamblin are Muslim Women who attend the weekly sermon at the Islamic Society of Colorado Springs, May 19, 2008. Muslim women must pray separately from the men. (Carol Lawrence/Colorado Springs Gazette/MCT)

Written in my hometown newspaper, this article mentions some interesting points about American Muslims.

"...plenty of Muslim women in the U.S. feel comfortable enough to question its customs....America is a good place for Muslims to freely explore issues..."

I do appreciate very much the freedom in America for people to explore their faiths without fear of punishment- I pray Allah leads all to the answers of their inquiries so our deen may be strengthened.


"..No doubt, American women of other faiths also have issues with some of their religions' practices while accepting others....Consider the Catholic woman who might agree with the church's stance on abortion but not on birth control. Or the Jewish woman who lights the Sabbath candles each Friday but doesn't keep kosher..."

In my opinion, religion is a personal issue and not everyone may practice it in the same manner- some rules may be followed and others may not be but they should not be judged or deemed 'not Christian/Muslim/Jewish' Only God can justly judge others.


"...More problematic to some Muslim women is something deeper than dress: the practice of segregating the sexes in mosques. It's not something mandated in the Koran, Safi said, but traditionalists say it's done to avoid distraction during prayer and retain a woman's modesty during full-body prostrations.

The practice doesn't take place in all mosques. The Islamic Society of North America estimates that 55 percent of U.S. mosques allow men and women to worship together. The Islamic Center in Modesto separates the sexes.

"We have been encouraging Islamic centers to allow women to have access to the main prayer hall," Safi said. "This sort of segregation is not part of the Koran..."

This is the main issue I have with my local mosque, is the separate entrance and prayer area. The article mentions a Colorado Springs muslimah who doesn't like this aspect but still chooses to attend the local mosque. Inshallah I will decide to simply attend to benefit from the lecture and local Muslim community


http://www.modbee.com/life/faithvalues/story/328719.html

Artilce Response- The De-Hijabization Movement

This article about how many muslim women who have been hijabi's for a long time are abandoning hijab recently was interesting to me. Just yesterday, my huband joked with his sister and with me there that I wouldn't 'keep up' wearing hijab after a couple of years. My mother feels I'm reacting to a crisis in my life in an extreme way. Even still, when I wondered aloud to my huband if I should wear a 3/4 sleeve shirt without covering my forearms, he reacted in alarm.

The article points out that "...Like most women, I often think to myself that men should learn to control themselves, and how perhaps if they did, women would not be obliged to conceal their sexuality in public, and dress any way we would like. But in the final analysis, God has hikma or wisdom as to why He created men this way, and why He asked women to cover themselves - He Knows best and He is All-Knowing..."

This was comforting because I do have a lot of thoughts about the traditional reason for hijab- to control sexual thoughts. My husband noted men are more sexually stimulated than women and perhaps that is true. I appreciate the ability to wonder about God's plan without being disrespectful

Also noted was this: "...Some women had originally decided to wear the hijab to counteract serious sins they had committed in the past. Ironically, some women also removed the hijab because they felt they were sinners, and were therefore unable to live up to what they felt should symbolize a woman in a hijab..."

I can admit to wanting to cover as a response to a sinful past- but why is that a bad thing? I cover for so many reasons that are truely internal: to remind myself to submit to God in all daily actions, to feel beautiful in my own terms that don't involve revealing all, to feel I have transformed my life for the better by changing my daily dress.

At times, I wonder about altering my hijab- not wearing long sleeves, not being all that mindful of certain clothes. And at times I may have worn outfits that could have been more modest- but hijab is my jihad that I accept and want to work at- I see no negative for it in my life and welcome this opportunity to grow and develop as a Muslim


http://www.islamonline.net/servlet/Satellite?c=Article_C&pagename=Zone-English-Family%2FFYELayout&cid=1237706119307